I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
