I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
