I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
