making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
