R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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