She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
