I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize