i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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