exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize