i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
