There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize