I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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