eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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