someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
