Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize