lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
