i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
