oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found puke in my bra..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
