i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
