so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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