I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
