im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize