I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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