Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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