your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
