Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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