Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
