I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
