after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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