my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize