I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
