C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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