We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
