Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
