So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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