i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
