it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize