I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize