You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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