so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
