I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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