god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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