i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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