Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
