Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
