Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
