I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize