I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
