I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
