worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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