yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
