my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just high enough for therapy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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