I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
