Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
