I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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