You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize