worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
