You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
